


Blood, nightmares and a Taurus

by fromunderthegaytree



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-War, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9896669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromunderthegaytree/pseuds/fromunderthegaytree
Summary: Johnny has the same nightmares he had years before. He dreams about his service in the war before seeking comfort





	

They shipped him over to Alaska. They did that to all the naive men in 2066.  
America and China were conflicting, aggressive and it was unpredictable.

Johnny remembered when he was with the 108th Infantry Regiment, they geared the American soldiers in Power Armour. They were on cold Alaskan soil, charging towards the Chinese.

The war was getting out of hand, new technology able to destroy more people. The flashes used to blind Johnny before he realized he was too close to a mine. He jumped away, clawing through dirty and ice to get away. 

The ticking stopped before the loud sound, the deafening one banged. It was too close, too close to dying. He still had a worn picture of Nora in his power armour helmet. 

The one of her sitting in the diner booth, smiling the smile that made her fall in love with her. He was determined to survive to see her again.  
He raised his shotgun, shooting another person charging at him.

They were people with families, friends and dreams. They were children with the same childlike wonder that Johnny had when he was a kid. It was China and America getting snappy with commerce exchange and arguing too much that caused this.

When he shot that Chinese soldier, he fell back. It was like it was slow motion, his knees failing as he fell back onto the snow. Johnny knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again, if he survived.   
His eyes darted to a fellow soldier, his name was Wes. 

He was the same naive man that Johnny was. He was someone that should've been studying Metaphysics not here in the heat of war. The rain of bullets began hitting him.   
He heard a beeping, knowing that his right arm of his suit was destroyed. 

Wes screamed at him, crouching behind a wall of brick, stained with bullet holes and blood. He ran, flashes and bangs clouding his vision and destroying his hearing. There was a loud ringing in his ears in the mix of shooting and screaming.

He saw Wes. "Stay here, soldier." Announced the other man.  
Johnny glanced over the short wall, checking. Despite the American soldiers dropping like flies, Uncle Sam was winning tonight.   
It was dark out, it wasn't supposed to be but smoke covered the sky in a thick ugly cloud.

The sky was almost turning red, like the end of the world.   
Wes ran out, screaming a battle cry with his gun raised high. He ran to the danger, the battle. 

He shot several enemies, they dropped as he continued on. Johnny had to appreciate how courageous he was, how brave he was. The Americans were winning, Johnny raced out after him.   
He shot the Chinese without hesitation even if he knew it was taint him for the rest of his days.

Wes was shot, a strangled cry piercing into the night. He would've ran but had to finish the battle. They did and the Chinese laid dead around them. The snow was Crimson from their blood, making him sick.

They all cheered, another victory for the USA. Johnny threw off his helmet and ran to Wes. He held him up, dragging his shaking body to a solid object.   
"Wes, can you hear me?" His voice hoarse. 

It was hard concentrating on helping Wes when all he could smell was smoke, metal and blood.   
He took off Wes' helmet, frowning at his friend's colour drained face.  
"No! Don't you die on me.." He shook him, pulling out a Stimpak. He slammed it into Wes's skin. 

"Johnny-boy.. It's too late.." His voice dragged out, like shards of glass.   
His skin had turned a feverish white and he began coughing. The dark brownish blood poured from his lips slightly. "I'm dying.."

Johnny sniffled, tears forming in his eyes. "You're gonna make it." He spoke defiantly, not accepting it.   
His own leg was broken but it was nothing compared to the slow death his fellow soldier was going through. 

He expected some last words, something along the lines of: 'tell my wife I love her' or 'goodbye' but he died speechless.  
His eyes were still open but remained like cold marbles. 

Johnny held the corpse in his arms before screaming out in pain. Mental or physical, it didn't matter anymore. 

 

The next day, he was quiet in the infirmary. They told him that he was honourably discharged because of his injured leg. He felt happy and relieved to be able to go home but he was fatigued.   
He couldn't sleep, not after what he went through for months. 

His eyes felt heavy like led but the scent of blood, the sight of dead bodies, the sound of bombs always prevented him from sleeping. When he was attempting to sleep, the images plaguing his thoughts like a cancer. He always whispered hoarsely to himself.  
"War, war never changes.."

Johnny awoke from his nightmare with a strangled gasp. He sat upright, his chest heaving as he took time realizing it was only a dream. His hands grabbed his pillow, it was soft and..real. He was real and and he was okay. 

It was nighttime, dark out. He slept in the same room he had two hundred years ago. In the same house, in the same Sanctuary. The difference was, his bed was empty, no one beside him.   
He sat up, relaxing. His heart was still racing like crazy, he had cold sweat on his lower back. 

He began to cry when he had the image of a dead Wes in his head. The one he tried so hard to forget, therapy, alcohol.. He did it all and it worked finally until now.  
He didn't realize that tears rushed down his face. His trembling hand went to his cheeks and wiped them off. 

He breathed out shakily as he held his hands in front of them, they trembled with tremors. He didn't think he could sleep but he needed it. He laid back and tried closing his eyes. They were closed but he couldn't go back to sleep. 

He began to tremble with fatigue. His body shook like he was freezing, he held in his crying. He didn't want anyone to see him, they wouldn't understand. 

After what seemed like an hour trying to sleep, he gave up and got up.   
He was wearing boxers and white T-shirt but it seemed too cold out. He threw on his Atom Cat jacket.  
He walked quietly through the remains of his house before going outside. 

No soul was awake, not even Dogmeat who was sleeping on the porch across the street. He looked at the airplane seat he built a week ago.   
He didn't know why he built it but he felt like he needed a bench or a seat near his home.

He always liked to watch the sunrise so he decided to build a seat so he could watch it. He sat down with a sigh, he pulled out a cigarette.   
He stuck one in his mouth as his hands fumbled for his matchbook. 

He almost jumped when he heard someone walk near. It was Danse, his crush. His sad heart lightened a bit. Johnny wiped his eyes quickly before mumbling.   
"Do you ever sleep?" 

Danse chuckled softly. It was weird seeing him in his jumpsuit and not in power armour. He sat beside him, looking at him before passing a matchbook.  
"Is this mine?" Johnny asked, he nodded. "I needed to light a fire." 

They were quiet for awhile, staring at the stars. Johnny used to be fascinated with them because his mother used to take him camping. They used to curl up under the stars as she told him the constellations.

"The Big Dipper." Johnny took a drag and breathed out.  
"Sorry?" Danse snapped out of his gaze before looking at him.  
Johnny pointed at the constellation. "That's the Big Dipper, it looks like a spoon." 

Danse squinted and nodded, a faint smile playing on his lips. "I see it."   
"What day were you born?" Johnny asked.  
"May 20th, why?" Danse raised a brow as Johnny scanned the sky.  
"You're a Taurus." He pointed at the constellation, "The bull.." Johnny smiled as Danse stared at the constellation. "I never knew that." Danse spoke softly with an amused smile.

Johnny nodded and stomped on the cigarette.   
"May I ask you what you're doing up this late?" He turned to Johnny.  
He looked down and sighed, running a hand through his shaggy dirty blond hair.

"A long story."  
"I've got all the time in the world." Paladin spoke softly, his usual stoic voice was much more kind now.   
"I had a nightmare, uh.. Back in the day.." Johnny started, struggling to continue without his voice wavering.

Danse didn't seem impatient and waited for the words. "Take your time."  
Johnny nodded and continued,   
"It was PTSD, the whole violence of it, I know it's weak but.. I saw my friend die."   
Danse did seem like he was about to say something but stopped.

"I'm a soldier, I know what it's like.. My friend, we joined the Brotherhood together." He knew this, he knew about how Danse had to shoot his own friend. He didn't want to hear anymore, he felt guilty for bringing back the bad memories. 

"It's okay, I know, you don't have to say anymore if it hurts." Johnny said, his hand reached and rested atop Danse's own hand. He jerked his hand back slightly in shock, he apologized. "Sorry, I'm not used to.. people caring so much, it was always an order to follow and it was difficult to follow especially when he was my friend.." 

Danse was teary eyed, he knew if he asked if he was crying, he'd say it was sleep deprivation. They were both tired, exhausted. They watched as the night slowly ended, Johnny fell asleep, go figure. His head leaning on Danse's shoulder as Danse intertwined his fingers with his. 

Danse found himself able to sleep now, closing his tired eyes as well. His head leaning against Johnny's.


End file.
